Do your quotes have G.A.S.?

Here at C.R.A.P. (Corporate Rhetoric Awards Program) Central, I showcase the worst of the worst in corporate communications. Being mildly bad won’t win you a coveted C.R.A.P. Award. You need to be awful.

But lately, I’ve been rethinking that philosophy. The worst of the worst only accounts for about 15 percent of all the communication that I see. That leaves 85 percent of stuff I never talk about!

Of that 85 percent, I’d say that about 10 percent of it is really, really good. Great headlines, quotes that are loaded with personality, snappy leads, interesting photos and creative story packaging.

If you take that 10 percent out, we’re now down to what, 75 percent? That’s the middle ground. The stuff that isn’t bad enough to be C.R.A.P. … but it’s not all that good, either. It’s just … there. Sort of blah. Boring. Corporate. Sterile.

I need an acronym for this slush pile of stuff. It’s not as bad as C.R.A.P., but it’s close … so let’s call it … G.A.S. That’s right, G.A.S. It stands for Generic, Average Stuff, and it’s one step away from C.R.A.P.

In fact, I can say that if you pass enough G.A.S. onto your readers, you’re eventually going to give them C.R.A.P.