How relationships with writers are like love affairs

Developing relationships with writers is similar to developing relationships with romantic partners: Both take time, effort, clear communication, and, most important, mutual respect.

We notice them.

With romantic partners, we may notice them for the first time across a restaurant, or through a mutual friend’s introduction. Similarly, we might notice a writer’s work while doing research, or maybe a colleague suggests him or her as a professional connection.

Either way, you never approach right away demanding attention—to be your new significant other, or to include a client in an upcoming piece.

Think about what you would do if someone came up to you in a bar and said, “Hi, let’s go back to my place, now.” That approach is brash and rude. If you disregard the other’s thoughts and opinions, it will place you on the permanent “avoid at all costs” list. Rather, it’s more polite and more effective to approach with an interesting comment.

We creep on them.